Time....

It gets away from me...
there is never enough of time in one day....

so how are we spending our time?
is it just another day?
and the time we spend with friends, family, and the people in our lives, do we spend our time with them getting to know that deep ache in their heart,
sharing in their joys,
celebrating with them,
sharing in their victories in their walk with God,
looking them in the eye and asking them, really how is life....

do we know that their lives are, joyful, empty, hurting, victorious, exciting, full, sad, overcoming.
do we truly know the people God has placed around us, do we know their hearts?
or are we letting time, get ahold of our days, do we tell ourselves we don't have time to stop and chat, have a coffee date, give an encouraging word.

or are we one of those that takes the time because we feel we should, so we spend time with people, but walk away not knowing what's going on in their personal life...
do we go to church to get something and walk right back out again, not giving someone the smile they needed,
an encouraging word,
did we look our brother and sister in the eye and ask them how their wknd is going or what their doing that day. not because that's how we start a conversation, but because we really care...
because we set our own time, (the time that God has given us) to get personal with someone.

time is precious, what are we doing with it..
it is a gift from God...
its glorious time!!

I want my time to be well spent, and like I was saying some days there doesn't seem to be enough of hours in my day,
but then some days aren't my best days, that's way God gives us a brand new day, every morning,
Praise the Lord!!
He gives us a new day, its our choice how we want to spend it....

with Christmas upon us, and I'm rushing around trying to get everything done... I realized that if I don't take time for myself, I feel drained and up tight, so if I meet someone in my busyness and my time that is being stretched and don't seem to have enough of, how will I respond?
it is ok to take time for yourself and rejuvenate...

so how are we going to spend our time...
are we just passing time?
or are we spending time gloriously... 

 

Have a wonderful Christmas!!

Shattered....

my life the past few days has been interesting...

God has been revealing things to me in ways that I'm not sure how to take, and I'm not sure that I'm ready for, I have to remind myself that God does not give us more than we can handle...
lately I have been wanting to get rid of anything in my life that is not from God, so I'm asked God to show me the things that I need to break free from, and to show me the things that I'm holding on to that I did not give to Him.

And show me He did!!

our God is faithful!!

He did not show me in the ways I expected or the things I expected..

my life was comfortable,
it was good,
it was easy,

I was living in a box...

I went to church and everything was there for me.
my friends, my family, and I got to spent time in worship with God.
I was comfortable living like this.
God showed me there's more to life than this...
and now that we attend another church, I have to make and effort to keep what's important to me- friends and family.
how much do my relationships mean to me, do they mean enough to me to set my things aside and make them work...
and yes I want to keep the relationships that I have build over the years.
so that was a flap open in my box.

and as I walk thru someone dear to me, and try to encourage them and get them to stay strong no matter what life throws at them. and to stand up and live out the role God gave them. it gets hard at times to not give up when they give up.
and then when God shows me things that come from that, things I need to face and break free from.
like physical touch...
I don't do well with that, I'm more comfortable just saying hi to someone, rather than walking across the room and giving them a hug.
and giving them a REAL hug too..
not just a off to the side hug that says nothing, but a hug that speaks love into their life, a hug that lets them know I care about their life. I love receiving those kinds of hugs!
I have a friend who every time I see her, that is the hug I receive... doesn't matter if we don't sit down and talk about life, I know she cares because of her hugs.
I want my daughter to grow up knowing what a hug or a touch feels like, I want her to be able to speak thru that when she has no words to describe the pain or joy she is feeling, I want physical touch to be a part of my family.

so that was another flap open in my box.

so when God showed me the things that I'm holding on to and need to overcome.
some days I would be totally ok with it, because I asked God to reveal them to me, and I know that victory follows!!
and then the next day I would dwell on it and get overwhelmed, thinking,
how can I get rid of all of this?
where do I begin?
if I get rid of this, am I ready for what's next?
and is it really that simple to just say, ok God I give it to you?
Gods grace and mercy is so big.
so YES its that simple!!! praise the Lord.

"that is why we never give up. though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. for our present troubles are small and won't last very long. yet they produce for us a glory that vastly out weighs them and will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

and then this week God did not just open another flap in my box,  He SHATTERED it!!!

I feel vulnerable before him,
humbled,
but not scared.
He has taken my comfort zones and shattered them, wanting me to take His hand and trust Him. trust Him to bring Joy, Love, Comfort, into my life. to lead me down a new path.
I now have put my whole trust in Him, because I know that what ever He brings out of this, I need His help, I can not do it on my own.
                    "when in doubt, just take the next small step"

I love to picture this as us reaching out to God, and He is there to help us up...

 

 

going up the stairs is her new favorite thing to do,

 

 

 
 

 

may your week be blessed in many ways...

my brother....

so I got to spend the last couple of days with my brother Michael,
he loves coming over to our house and spending the night. something that I don't do often enough for him. his highlight is hanging out with J.R. and watching sports, for some reason he always seems to cheer for the opposite team that J.R. roots for, and someone bought him a Ravans shirt, and he always wears it at our house knowing J.R. doesn't like the Ravans. :)
we love when he comes over and we can spend some quality time with him, he is one of those people that you have to peel back some layers to see the real Michael. there is some things he struggles with, and one of those is his speech, if your with him a lot you can pick up what he's saying, it is getting a lot better, thanks to Sus who takes him to speech.
an another one is, he has a mind of his own:) which is at times hard to change, and can be frustrating.

but he loves....

he will love you no matter what,
he forgives easily,
he has a heart of gold;
but you have to look for it....

his love language is quality time.
so he does things the best and willingly if you take the time to show him how its done and work along side him,
here are a couple of pictures inside his true heart....
                         giving Bradley a bath

taking the mail up to the mailbox with Keira..

 

 

baking cookies

 
                                                  hanging out with uncle Mike

 

                                          he holds a special place in my heart,

so it got me thinking...

how often do I judge or take someone the wrong way because I took the first 5 minutes that I was with them and went by that, and said that's who they are.

 

really???

 

how do I expect people to have their hearts on their sleeves when I wear mine under a lot of layers?

 

do I see a person for who they really are or am I too busy going my own way and doing my own thing, that I don't have time to stop and chat with someone.

could I be that someone who brightens their day because I took the time to stop and speak life into their lives at that moment,

or am I that person who at the end of the day, people know me as that lady who always has something going, its hard to get a minute with her.....

when I planned to bring Michael over to our house, I also did not plan a lot knowing that if I wanted him to help me with some things I was going to have to work along side of him and help him.

and if you know me that's not one of my strong points, is showing others how to do things and then staying by their side and helping them, I would rather just do it by myself instead of taking the time to show them how.

so is it good for me when he comes over? Yes!

 

so when God gives us a new day, and we get up in the morning, do we have our whole day planned out and then get frustrated when it doesn't go how we had planned it...

 

or do we wake up and give God our day, and roll with the punches, have a mindset of, God you gave me this day, Your will be done...

that's the kind of days I want to live,

the days where I walk into the grocery store and I'm not to consumed with myself that I have time to talk to the lady at the cashier...

or gave someone my smile who didn't have one...

or be that someone who pays the car behind me at the drive thru windows bill..

(I want to bless someone in that way sometime, but when I'm in that moment I always think, ah I will next time..) but what if (they) were the ones that really needed a reminder that life is GOOD!

that life is a gift from God!

 

the message today at church was on humility...

such a good reminder.. he said when we become humble before God and do things for others, we will be exalted.

but we're not to become humble and expect to be exalted.

but to humble ourselves before God, and allow Him to work thru us..

to just serve Him whole heartily....

 

I love when I see or hear of something good someone did, or when someone does something out of the ordinary to bless someone..

those are the thongs that matter in life!

not how clean my house is,

how many friends I have,

the latest fashion,

if my yard looks perfect,

 

so that leads me to the next thing God was laying on my heart,

 

do I look at the things that I do or the people around me do well, as that's just them.

or do I look at it as their gift that God gave them...

and that's why we're so good at it.

like a dear friend of mine, is so good at decorating and her home is always beautiful, do I take the time to recognize that that's her gift?

or my sister who has beautiful flowerbeds, do I just think that it looks like a lot of work and that would so not be me, or do I recognize it as a gift from God,

and the sister that has everything organized, do I wish I could be like her, or do I recognize it as her gift from God,

and the friend that gives compliments, do I see that as her speaking life into people, and recognize it as her gift from God,

and the sister who is always there to help out know matter what, do I wish that I could be free to drop things and help the person in need, or do I recognize it as her gift from God,

and us as women we love beauty...

because that is Gods gift to us, its ok to notice the beauty in things!

so often I tend to think its just us as humans wanting or doing these things, when its the gift that God gave us..

I'm challenged with that lately, to look at things thru the eyes of God... to allow God to work thru me to see the beauty in the things that please him.

so when someone has their yard work and flowerbeds nice every time I see them,

and their home is clean and beautiful,

their closets and rooms are organized, 

to not look at it like that's a lot of work. or they have it all together, but look at it with beauty,

to look at it as a gift from God....

because everyday and every breath is from God. 

 

 

have a blessed week!!

 

 

 



A Beautiful wedding....

my baby sister got married....
God blessed them with a beautiful day, her décor was beautiful... her dress was absolutely stunning! she looked so elegant and beautiful in it, like a model...
the morning of their wedding, I went up to their house to get my hair done, so much fun getting dolled up, got to help her into her dress.. and chase the groom away a couple of times!! not joking! I literally had too!! Sus had told him to be there at 10:15, no later!! so when he came at 10:15 and the photographers weren't there yet, Sus is like, he may not come in!! and of course he came to the door, I mean who wouldn't wanna see their beautiful bride; and he couldn't wait!! so I told him he couldn't come in, he's like , are you serious! why can't I come in!! (oh boy). so I went over the WHOLE thing with him why he can't, and then the photographers arrive, and she's in her dress, (they had a first look outside) and guess who comes in, Vernon! he seriously could not wait! so once again I chased him outside!! the anticipation was getting to him; poor guy :) their first look was beautiful as was the rest of the day...

                                 getting her make-up done

                                                             handsome...

 

 

love my family!!

                                                          my sweetheart..

                                                       they absolutely adore each other!!

                                              the beautiful bride and handsome mini groom

                                            these two melt my heart...

                                            their too much!!

                                                       
                                                         a handsome mini groom,

                                                        little cutie...

                  

 

my favorite part of the day was how they got sent off, they swapped his Range Rover for his dads jeep, top down, LOUD. they decked it out, had a for sale sign on that read... will trade for dog; was too much! they freaked when the saw it... so much fun!      thank you for allowing me to be a part of your day...

 

so now to put the excitement of a wedding day and a newly wed couple into our every marriage, is that possible?

is it possible to have that look that newly weds have when they come home from their honeymoon, that look in their eyes that is overflowing with love and excitement for each other and for the future..  

do I have that in my marriage? 

what does marriage look like to me?

am I like that groom who can't wait to see his bride?

or did I let life get to me?

did I let my husband become just another person in my life, or is he still THE ONE?

so what does marriage look like to me...

 I'll start at the beginning...

 I was never that girl who dreamed of that fairy tale wedding, I always had a fear of being married..

 so when I started dating the love of my life, I remember telling him I don't want to get married and he looked at me and asked; so then what is the point of dating? such a true statement..

 so as I pondered over that the next couple days and months, God was working thru J.R.  to help me overcome my fear. God showed me its ok to go all in and trust J.R.

when J.R. asked me to marry him and then as I stood with him on our wedding day and said I Do. did I know what marriage looked like? No, I did not.

 but I knew J.R.s heart and I knew that God would be with us, because only God can take away the fears that I had..

so what is marriage...

to me its living with my best friend everyday, sharing my secrets and fears with him.

 what does marriage look like to me..

 to me its beautiful...

but is it real?

is it something that the world looks at an sees fake, put on, and so not something that they want...

or do they see real.

do they see love overflowing from our eyes like that newly wed couple,

do they see love in the way we handle situations,

do they see love in our actions,

are we displaying marriage in a way that the world wants what we have,

or do they say that's why I'm not married and never will be married.

I know I what a marriage that has God written all over it, that the world doesn't just want a marriage like that, but wants what's at the core of a beautiful marriage... God.

isn't that what life should be all about.

but how can we go out and share the gospel when our home and marriage is broken?

there's a oneness that is so beautiful when husband and wife are on one page, I found out that if we are not on the same page, its hard to go out and spread joy when my heart is hurting because of a broken home-marriage, I don't have that oneness with my husband that God designed for us to have, I don't have that light in my step.

 so how powerful is a Godly marriage?

Very Powerful!!

 

so what does a beautiful Godly marriage call for?

for me its surrender...

why is it so hard to surrender to my hubby...

 its easy for me to surrender myself to God, when things are pressing down on me to just give myself in complete surrender to my heavenly Father, to let my Daddy take over.

but why is it so hard when it comes to my husband?

to totally surrender myself to my hubby, is hard.

that was the challenge I was faced with...

he is my best friend, my soul mate. He is stable, honest and Precious.

so why is it so hard to become vulnerable, and surrender to my husband, my pride often gets in the way...

but how beautiful is it when I say, yes babe, your right.. and I'm sorry, forgive me...

so is the answer, I didn't fully surrender my husband to God?

 

God gives us a new day everyday, He gives us the chance to be like that new bride and groom who's faces are aglow with that newfound love, they are in awe of each other. everything is new and exciting...

we have that choice everyday to start anew,

to be in awe of each other

to gaze into our love ones eyes and have that love overflowing from our eyes,

that love that God gives us for our spouse...

 

Marriage is like a garden...

we pull weeds-problems together.

we plant together.

we watch it grow together.

and I only let my husband tend-care our garden, and he does the same...

don't let someone else come in and help weed, plant, and grow your garden....

 

do we have the perfect marriage? No.

but we serve a perfect God....

 

                                           does he make me happy? YES!!!

 

                  have a blessed week...



Becoming......

What am I becoming,
am I becoming a woman who puts others and things before herself so much that I forget who I am, and where my identity lies, we all want to be a supermom/wonderwoman, or at least I know I do.. but don't wonderwomen know what their passion in life is?
so am I becoming an uptight, empty, sad, unsure, and insecure woman by trying to be something God did not create me to be,
am I becoming this woman that makes everything look good on the outside, when my heart is bleeding on the inside because i did not take time for myself,
am I becoming this woman that is lost, because I did not take time for the things I love to do, because I feel selfish to think of me,
when really I need to do the things I love and am passionate about to become a wonderwoman to my family and friends.
so what do I love to do?
what do I not take time for that is hurting me?
how can I strengthen my relationships?

Doesn't it come down to laying myself down at the cross, if I die to self everyday and ask God to fill me up with His grace.
who and what is He going to show me, and am I ready to go forth and send His Light.
so I find myself asking to question- who does God want me to become?
and what will become of my family,

 

my friends, my hubby, and my baby girl, if I become who God wants me to become.
will I feel selfish taking the time for myself or will I come to realize that if I become what God wants me to be and do the things He has gifted me to do, everything will blossom!
 that paints a beautiful picture....
that has been my struggle this week,
 I am only one person..
I want to be a superwoman and help everyone out,
be a loving and supportive wife,
have my home clean and welcoming,
be the best mom and spend time with my daughter every minute I can,
work 2 days,
and in between the gaps do something for someone I love...
makes me tried just writing all that,,
so really, why do I think I have to have it all together on the outside, when I can't even breathe on the inside. it does not matter what I want, its not about me, but am I not missing the mark, when I'm empty, tired and worn out on the inside, how can I give people my all when, when I think I can do it all...(wow)

I want to become the woman God created me to be.
to become  kind-real-careing-loving.
I want to become passionate about what I love to do.
to use the gifts God gave me, for His honor and glory.
to become a mom that is calm.
to become a friend, daughter, sister, mom and wife who is REAL.
who does things because its her gift.
who loves, cares, and speaks kind words.
because she is allowing God to work thru her..
to become real....
                                               we love her so much!!

                 
                                                         my amazing husband

                                                   our precious baby girl

have a blessed weekend!!

A weekend at the haft....

my hubby got a chance to go to prison with some guys and play softball and minister to the prisoners, so us ladies stayed at the haft while the men went to prison, I got to spend the weekend with some amazing ladies, Susan, Maria, and Rosa, and the kiddo's. I went up there searching for some answers from God about things I was going thru in my life at the time. and came home with a full and happy heart, I went up looking for one thing and got an answer for a totally different thing, Our God is SOO Good!!! He showed me what my role is in this season of my life, and I am ok with where I am at...
I am the kind of person, that loves to have control, so when I don't have an answer or things don't go the way I had planned, I tend to freak out, and God showed me its ok,
so thats what I'm working on, to be ok with what comes my way...

I love being a Mommy!! God is teaching me alot thru my daughter, patience, joy and not everything gets done:) I can't believe she is 6 months old already, I love this stage, we love watching her grow and discover new things. so much fun...

this is her favorite thing to do with Daddy,

 

hope you guys all have a great and blessed weekend,,,